In the end I woke up at 11 and took a shower. My hair is a mess when I wake up and nothing helps unless I shower. Then I put on the lotion I bought yesterday, sunscreen, lip balm, and hair serum.
Huh? When did I start getting like this? I felt happy about myself. There's the practical side where your skin and hair get better, but mentally, the act of 'taking care of yourself' boosts self-esteem. That's why I think skincare is more important than just appearance.
My past self is the only point of comparison
Lately, my behavior really has been changing. I used to get up after midnight, but it's gradually getting earlier. Just being able to wake up at 10:30 is a huge improvement. Of course, compared to a regular office worker it's still too late. But that's not who I'm comparing myself to. I'm comparing to my past self. How much have I upgraded compared to my past self? That's what's really important. Your enemy is yourself.
I subscribed to a gym yesterday and tried a proper gym for the first time. I also started skincare. Then I realized something: after all, maybe all motivation comes down to wanting to replicate strong genes.
About genes
I started skincare because the girl I fell for had such beautiful skin. I figured I'd probably be attracted to people with nice skin. If I get more muscular, I'll definitely gain more confidence.
You'll be able to approach someone with confidence, it links to self-esteem, you'll be healthier, and pushing yourself makes you mentally tougher. That ultimately means becoming genetically 'stronger.' The chance of pairing with someone who has strong genes goes up. That's what it boils down to. Interesting.
Until now, when there was a cute girl I'd reflexively avoid her to protect myself.
Because being rejected felt like 'I'm worthless.'
But that's not true. You decide your own worth. The one thing I can say is: to confidently talk to a cute girl, you need confidence in yourself. Where does that confidence come from? There are many sources, but one is definitely your physique. That's why I train at the gym to build an attractive body.
Laundry, muscle soreness, and 50-baht fried rice
So, I had a pile of laundry today, so I started with laundry. I looked at the hostel's washer, but it was covered in dust and really dirty, so I decided to use a drum washer a bit farther away. Started washing for 40 baht. My muscles are sore though. I did strength training for the first time in a while yesterday, so my arms and chest hurt like crazy. But that's a good sign.
While waiting for the laundry, I ate 50-baht fried rice at a nearby stall. It was cheap and really delicious. While waiting 40 minutes for the dryer, I wrote in my journal non-stop at the hostel. Writing in a journal to sort out my head is really enjoyable and feels important.
Walked 4 km to Starbucks
After picking up the laundry, I went out. The protein shop was closed on Sundays, so I switched to work mode. I wanted to be at the gym by 6pm, so I decided to work at Starbucks until then. It's 4 km in a straight line to Starbucks. I thought it would be good training, so I walked.
Partway through, it started to rain. A typical monsoon downpour. But it's very Chiang Mai-like and I liked it. Walking in the rain, I felt the city. Once I got to Starbucks I could really focus and made good progress. I worked until close to 6pm and took a motorbike taxi home.
Rest on days with muscle soreness
I got ready quickly and went to the gym. But I seemed to have pushed my muscles too hard, so I decided not to push today. I ran 4 km and only did stretching.
When your muscles are sore it's better not to force them; you should let them rest until fully recovered. Right now they're in the process of growing.
Eating my way through Chiang Mai's night food stalls
After the gym, I walked around Chiang Mai. There were so many stalls and it was packed with tourists and locals. I actually planned to have dinner at a restaurant, but the stalls caught my attention too much, so I decided to try a variety of things.
Watermelon juice, coconut cake, fried chicken teriyaki rice, broccoli and chicken breast, grilled fish, khao soi.
Before I knew it I had eaten a ton and it would've definitely been cheaper to eat at a restaurant. But it's fine once in a while. It was really fun. I was alone, but I tasted lots of things while feeling Chiang Mai. Khao soi was especially insanely delicious.
It was so spicy that I almost couldn't eat it, but it was delicious. Thinking 'this is authentic khao soi'—it made me realize I'm really in Chiang Mai, and that made me happy.
However, if you ask whether I want to live in Chiang Mai—hmm, not really. There are too many tourists and a lot of foreigners. What traveling made me feel is that I want to move to a place with fewer tourists.
Meeting Luca, the French guy
When I returned to the hostel, a new roommate had moved in. His name is Luca, a Frenchman. Apparently he came straight from Chiang Mai airport. His communication was amazing. He asked a lot of questions and our conversation naturally picked up. So that's it! This is what communication is. Asking the other person questions is really important.
So anyway, we ended up saying maybe we'll go somewhere together tomorrow. I don't want to expect too much, but I hope something fun happens. He's a really nice guy, so I think we get along.
At night I studied React, worked, wrote in my diary, and read a book. Suddenly she crossed my mind. I wonder what she's doing now. But just being able to feel this crush makes me happy. I'm savoring the present.
