I said good morning, but no one looked my way.
By the end of the day, a stranger cat had curled up and was sleeping on my lap.
A morning shut out of breakfast
I woke up at 9:20. I still felt the fatigue from yesterday and actually wanted to sleep more, but I'd forgotten I'd ordered breakfast. I hurriedly got up.
From outside the door I could hear foreigners speaking rapid English. My sensibilities had developed to the point where I could tell their personalities just from their voices. Yeah, they weren't compatible with me. The speed, tone, manner of speaking, the creaky voice. From past experiences and my instincts I could grasp that intuitively.
I took a shower, fixed my hair, and went outside the hostel. When I asked if breakfast was available, they said plates were already on the table so I could help myself, and that they'd bring cheese later. So I reluctantly went over to that group.
I said 'morning', but everyone reacted poorly and quickly became exclusive, as if because I was Asian. They didn't look at me at all, kept talking, and were not welcoming at all. I really wanted to know where they were from.
I thought it's probably normal to encounter things like this when living abroad, so I wasn't too hurt. I'll just leave these guys alone. I decided to enjoy my meal myself and ate alone in front of them, looking unfazed. A German girl nearby looked my way and tried to include me in the conversation, but I didn't want to talk to them, so I just kept staring at my phone.
The German girl who washed my dishes
Then they brought more piled-on cheese, an omelet, and bread. But I was so disappointed I didn't feel like eating much. I took a piece of bread and some cheese. Then they all rushed to take the cheese too. I thought to myself, 'That's my cheese.' Inside I felt they were really awful people who'd take only my cheese and not include me in conversation or the group. But that might have just been my assumption. Still, I'm sensitive, so I'm the kind of person who secretly senses that, and that instinct is right. So I felt, why should I have to eat with people who discriminate against me?
In the end, that man snatched the basket of bread from my side, moved it over to himself, and placed the basket as far away from me as possible. He put it down as if it were natural, but in my head he seemed to be thinking, 'Let's bully that Asian.' He looked a bit like Prince Harry, so I guessed he might be British. One of them was talking about an American university, so I don't know whether they were American or British, but in any case it was a terrible morning.
Later, the German girl washed my plate. Apparently she works as a volunteer. She alone had a pure face and a kind heart—her expression showed it. That impression was right. After breakfast she was the only one who didn't show any racism; she was very friendly to me, washed the dishes, and was very friendly to everyone else.
I really thought that personality shows on the face. I wanted to be friends with her. Volunteering like that means she's very curious and proactive. But I overthought how to talk to her and ended up not speaking to her. Why is it that the people you most want to befriend are the ones you can't talk to well? It's because you want to present yourself well, to be seen favorably.
Laundry done, finally out
I finished breakfast earlier than them. I wanted my laundry done, so I paid 400 lira even though it was expensive and asked them to wash it. They said it would be done in 3 hours 30 minutes, so I worked and posted in my journal until then. Even after that it was only noon and I was sleepy, so I decided to sleep until 2 pm.
When I woke up, the German girl had brought my laundry. After that I was finally able to go outside.
Getting ready, heading into town.
Iskender with lettuce
I was hungry so I decided to go to a nearby place. I planned to walk toward the city center and on the way found a nice-looking restaurant. It looked like a local spot tourists would never visit. On Google Maps it had a rating of 3.7, not great. But it's been in business for a long time and there were older men dining there. So at least they probably weren't using rotten meat.
Iskender was 250 lira, so I figured I might as well eat there. I went in and ordered Ayran and Iskender. It came out quickly, but unlike a regular Iskender, it had lettuce in it.
It was generally tasty, but it lacked the richness of butter, so I asked the server to pour butter on it. Instead of butter, they poured oil. What I'd eaten before had been so delicious that compared to that, this wasn't very good.
The clock tower and the city of hijabs
Every time I eat Turkish food I order Ayran. I'm getting used to Ayran by now. Still, it's delicious enough to drink every time. The saltiness goes well with meat dishes.
After that I walked and walked. I arrived at the clock tower. There were tons of pigeons and kids chasing them. It was very cute. For some reason this area seemed to have a lot of Muslims; there were many women wearing hijabs.
People had said Izmir has a lot of chill people, so I was a bit puzzled about why that was.
As I walked toward the city center, there were finally plenty of women not wearing hijabs, and it felt no different from Istanbul.
Many people were walking and lots of shops lined the streets.
Sea with floating moss and the promenade
I walked to the port and then followed the coastline for a long stretch.
With the promenade, it's an ideal city for running. Cars don't pass close by, so you don't have to worry about that either—it's really great.
The weather was clear with not a single cloud. I walked endlessly while listening to music.
There was seaweed in the water, so it felt completely different from Antalya. Honestly, I prefer Antalya. But Izmir has its own good points. Anyway, the promenade is super long—I think it would definitely take two hours just to walk it.
Sometimes girls would react to me because I'm Asian. I kept walking, replying to friends with voice messages, and thinking about all sorts of things.
On a bench I thought about the choice to start a business
I reached the city center and realized I'd forgotten to put on sunscreen, so I bought some at Watson. I had just bought some yesterday in Fethiye, but I bought more. Still, protecting my skin is important, so that's OK.
There were many people walking in the center and many shops lining the streets.
It was still early for dinner, so I headed back to the promenade, sat on a bench near the sea, and watched the waves for a long time.
At that moment I felt I'm not suited to employment, and the question of whether I'd return to Japan and rejoin a company came up, but I thought straight away that it's impossible. I'm not cut out for that. I'll carve my own path in life. That's my ambition—I refuse to let others decide my life. Also, I can't find a reason I must be in Japan.
Of course, thinking it through, Japan has enormous demand, an aging, shrinking population, and it's easy to find work. But abroad it's fiercely competitive and hard to find a job. So in that sense collaborating with Japanese companies seems good, but with the currency also weakening, I wonder if there's really a benefit to getting paid in Japan.
I kept thinking about that—what kind of business to start, what I would do. I was constantly thinking about the future. But I absolutely want to push myself to the limit, place myself in various environments, and keep challenging myself. In the future I want to be a man with enough money to drive a luxury car in Monaco and travel with a beautiful woman I trust as my partner. Whether I want to live in Monaco is another matter. That's why I deeply resolved to definitely start a company.
My first Tantuni
Time flew and it was past six. So I returned to the city center to have dinner. I wanted to eat Iskender, but while walking I saw a dish called Tantuni. A Turkish friend had told me, after I posted that I love Iskender, that I should try Tantuni next—so I remembered that.
So I thought I'd try it and went in. There was a woman who spoke English; when I asked which she recommended she said the one with yogurt on top and that the chicken was tasty, so I ordered that with Ayran.
Tantuni is like chicken and vegetables wrapped with yogurt and sauce on top. But I still prefer Iskender. I can't forget the richness of butter—I really love it. Still, I'm glad I enjoyed a new Turkish dish.
'It was delicious, thank you'
The server was very pleasant, looked me in the eye and talked with me. They were so, so nice, so at the checkout I said, 'It was really delicious. Thank you.' Normally I hardly ever say that, but I felt this person would accept it.
But I was happy. I had the courage to say it myself. I felt I was gradually becoming more open, and that made me very happy. I want to be more and more open, always keep my heart open. Saying goodbye was a bit awkward, but being able to say it was a big success.
The cat that climbed onto my lap
I was planning to return to the hostel and walked as far as a big park. I stopped by the park and sat on a nearby bench to rest. Even though it was 7:30, the sun had barely started to set and it was still very bright. I thought Turkey is nice. The days are long and the weather's clear.
As I sat on the bench, a cat came and jumped onto me.
I really don't know why, but the cat climbed onto me and got into a relaxed sleeping position. I have no idea why (lol). Maybe in a past life I was a cat king.
Reluctantly, back to the hostel.
Humidity and the reception's resourcefulness
When I arrived at the hostel and entered my room, the humidity was terrible. A person who checked in today had washed their clothes and hung them to dry near my bed in the hostel, so the humidity and smell were awful.
So I gathered courage and asked reception, 'It smells and the humidity is terrible—could you open a window?' They responded properly and agreed it did smell. Then they directly told the person who had hung the laundry, 'Could you hang it up here on the second floor? The humidity is bad.' They also consulted the owner and firmly scolded them. Thank you. I realized she must be the kind of person in MBTI terms who speaks clearly and directly. After that I worked on my PC and did various things.
A night that continued until 3:30
After that, a cat kept sitting nearby and resting.
She asked, 'Can I sit near you?' and I said sure. From there we had all kinds of discussions, from the Turkish soup she was eating to politics and religion.
Before I knew it it was 3:30, so I went back to my hostel bed and decided to sleep.
