Today I ended up waking up at 12:30. It's getting later and later. How great would it be if I could wake up at 8 AM. I really want to aim for an 8 AM wake-up.
A new encounter with khao man gai
After that, I walked to eat khao man gai today. It was a new place and another discovery of a restaurant. Even though I feel like I almost fully understand the Old City, being here for about a month, it's interesting to visit many restaurants and eat in different places.
Then, thinking I had time today, I found a stylish cafe and decided to go there, walking while drinking Pocari Sweat.
Afternoon dancers and my overthinking self
When I arrived, loud music was blasting from the afternoon and everyone was dancing. It felt very lively and looked like so much fun. Like people dancing with towels tied around their heads. I thought it looked really enjoyable. I even felt like joining in.
This is the self inside my 'heart'. But because I end up thinking about so many things in my head, I got tired and left quickly. This is really the issue. When I overthink, nothing good comes of it. Strategies and such are important, but I believe that expressing myself as I am is what truly connects to being authentic.
So I don't want to forget that. To always be the real me.
Three hours at Willow Cafe, no one came
After that, I ended up going to another cafe. It was called Willow Cafe, apparently a cafe attached to a hotel. There wasn't a single customer — I figured hotel guests were probably the main patrons — and it felt really fancy, with roses on each table. I stayed there for more than three hours, but nobody came. I wondered if they could even turn a profit.
There I thought a lot about how to move from Koh Tao and what route to take to head to Brunei. Thinking about routes really drains a lot of energy. I finished the work without any problems.
Really, it's about time I make my own documentary video. Nothing will happen unless I start by taking action.
So anyway, I spent a pleasant time at the cafe. Above all, I think 'not thinking'—'acting without thinking'—is the strongest weapon. I'm exploring how to obtain that. Acting without thinking. I want to somehow acquire that skill.
A night I challenged myself to go to a jazz bar alone
Today I mustered up the courage to go to a jazz bar, but I didn't really enjoy it. The music didn't resonate much. Maybe it felt shallow. There was no depth, and the rhythm quickly sounded amateurish. Besides, I was listening from outside, I was alone, and I was drinking a Moscow Mule, but somehow I didn't really enjoy it. Why is that?
It really wasn't enjoyable.
There were people having a great time around me, but what I was looking for was a quieter space. To listen to jazz and then clap politely. And then silence. Everyone listening to jazz seriously. I like that kind of space. A place where you can savor the afterglow.
But at least I was able to challenge myself. Going to a jazz bar alone — that challenge was accomplished, so I'm proud of myself. I think I did well.
But still, when I go to places like that, I want to enjoy them with someone. That feeling is strong. I realize I really like being with people.
