I woke up close to 11. I woke up late again and blamed myself a little. But I think I was still tired from training at the gym for four hours yesterday. It can’t be helped.
I’ve gotten to the point where I can say “Hi” to people I pass in the hostel. If our eyes meet, I can say “Hello.” Before, I wouldn’t even make eye contact. I had completely shut myself off.
People want to enter places where the heart is open. They want to occupy the empty spaces. If you close your heart or cram it too full, people won’t come in. That’s why I want to create some margin in my heart, even if only little by little.
I noticed something interesting. If I respond expecting the behavior I want from the other person, they respond that way. In other words, the other person’s reaction changes depending on how I react. Such a simple thing really was true.
Khao man gai — the steamed chicken is sold out
I walked to the Khao man gai shop. Since the steamed chicken was sold out, I ordered the fried chicken instead. It was a bit disappointing, but there was nothing to be done.
Chiang Mai Cultural Center
I visited the cultural center. It was a very stylish place, with souvenir shops selling traditional textiles and an open atrium in the middle that housed a café. On the upper floor there was a small library with Thai books. I sat down for a short break.
Then I moved to the Carrot Café to study React and work. It may look like the same thing over and over every day, but it’s these routines that form the foundation of growth.
Hopped between three chicken shops
At 5 p.m., wanting to refuel with protein before the gym, I went to the food-stall street near the gym. I bought chicken at the first stall, chicken at the second, and at the third I ordered a chicken-and-rice set. The woman packed it with lots of spinach and chicken, and when she tried to add chili sauce at the end I said “no thanks,” and she laughed, “it’s just a little spicy, though.” Those casual exchanges are fun.
Smiling at my muscles in the gym
Today I focused on everything except the chest. My back rarely gets sore, so I thoroughly researched the technique and tried the seated row. I still have the problem of my arms being too thin and getting sore first, but it’s improving little by little.
Time at the gym really feels fulfilling. My body seems to be powering up more and more, and it’s a joy to feel my muscles after finishing a workout. I find myself grinning at my muscles or smiling at my reflection in the mirror. I try to hold back my emotions, but I can’t. There’s no doubt my body is evolving day by day.
In the end I stayed at the gym until 9:30 and walked back to the hostel.
Sensitivity is a noble weapon
At the hostel I thought about my sensitivity. I become overly considerate when other people are around. If someone is tidying the corridor, I even worry about walking past them. It’s tiring, but it’s because I’m kind, sensitive, and highly receptive. That doesn’t mean I need to become cold or try not to think. It’s a noble weapon. I should cherish it.
There was someone at the hostel who was wild and overflowing with confidence, who chatted with everyone in a friendly way. I thought that was amazing, but it doesn’t mean I lack charm. People don’t come to me because I give off an aura of “don’t talk to me.” I’m an attractive person. I just close up because of the feeling of fear. I can change that by switching my environment, taking lots of challenges, and gradually changing.
Input and output
Lately I’ve been copying what I learn from books into a notebook every day. Not just reading, but writing down what I thought, felt, and learned. That’s truly important. I also managed to finish a React course. I had been avoiding JS because it didn’t make sense to me, but now I can build things while understanding each part.
Today was another fulfilling day — lots of learning and an emotional adventure. I’ll make tomorrow another great day.
