~A journey walked by the heart~
If I stopped searching for the 'right answer', I might be able to live more naturally

If I stopped searching for the 'right answer', I might be able to live more naturally

philosophy, story, experience
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6 min to read

Vowing to get a six-pack, I ate khao man gai twice, had three vaccines administered at once at CWC, received the injections from a nurse who laughed in Japanese, and at the laundromat I mustered the courage to borrow detergent. A day in Chiang Mai when I realized I was trying too hard to seek the 'right answer'.

On abs day, I tackle it with only a banana

I took a shower and headed to the gym. Just going to the gym is a lot of work—preparing protein, changing clothes, and so on. Also, my bed is the top bunk, so climbing up and down is really tough.

Before going to the gym I thought about ordering khao man gai at a famous place, but today is abs and running day and I didn't want my side to cramp, so I bought only a banana at the convenience store and headed to the gym.

I increased the load on my abs more than usual, and did Russian twists while holding a 10 kg weight. I want to tighten my stomach more and make my abs stand out. Right now, abs are what I most want to train. I want to train my abs intensely. That's my top goal—I want to get a six-pack. No, I will get one. Then I ran 2 km and finished at the gym.

I walked to my usual favorite restaurant. Since I went around 3 pm again, the older sister wasn't there and it was an auntie. I ordered the usual green Thai curry and cheese balls. It was reliably delicious. After paying, I called a Grab bike for the first time in a while and returned to the hostel.

Three vaccines administered at CWC at the same time

I arrived at the hostel, took a shower, and changed. Today was vaccination day, and my laundry was about to be full, so it was a good opportunity. I took a motorcycle taxi to CWC.

When I arrived, it looked like they were renovating and it was covered with a large banner. 'Wait, are they closed now?' I panicked a bit. I started looking for another clinic, thinking it couldn't be helped. Then I saw two people leaving from the back entrance, so I thought, 'Maybe they're open?' Their phone number and LINE were listed on the banner, so maybe they were somewhere. When I checked, they were actually open!

I safely arrived at CWC. I told them which vaccines I wanted and presented my vaccination book. The total was about 11,000 baht. Hepatitis A second dose, hepatitis B second dose, HPV second dose. They checked and said the Hep A and B vaccines had the same contents but were manufactured by different companies. I was a little worried, but they said it was fine. I even confirmed with ChatGPT and felt reassured.

I was the only patient there, and about three nurses attended to me. The room was very clean. I was called to the second floor and got the shots there. The nurse seemed very inexperienced, maybe a beginner—she gave off a strong novice vibe. They gave HPV and hepatitis A in my left arm and hepatitis B in my right. The HPV shot was extremely painful. Especially when they were injecting the medication, it really hurt. When I made a pained face, they laughed and teased me, asking 'Are you okay?' Being teased like that at 25 felt like proof I was still young, and in a way I was happy about it.

One of the nurses spoke to me in Japanese, which surprised me. She asked how long I planned to stay in Chiang Mai, and even while giving the injections we chatted casually and laughed together. I thought I should have taken a photo, but oh well, it couldn't be helped.

Pursuing the "right answer" too much

Afterwards I had to wait 15 minutes. During that time we talked about how long I'd studied Japanese and whether I'd been to Japan. She was able to speak Japanese normally, and I thought that was amazing.

I recently discovered that I think I've been seeking the 'right answer' too much—asking 'Is this correct? Is this right?' Perhaps it's because I spent a long time in Japan where you're always expected to find the right answer. So rather than 'the right answer,' it's about whether I'm enjoying the moment. I think that's what leads to living more humanly.

I paid the 11,000 baht by card and it was completed successfully. I said thank you and waved goodbye. At the end I found myself thinking about how to behave even opening and closing the door, which made things awkward between us, but that's the thing. I shouldn't overthink. Just live in the moment. Don't think too much with your head. I think it's something I can consciously work on, so I want to fix it.

Second khao man gai and looking for flights at Starbucks

After that I walked to the khao man gai shop. I ate delicious khao man gai again today. The shop staff told me twice, very curtly, 'The sauce is here.' When I actually tried adding the sauce, it was spicy so I decided I didn't need it.

Then I spent about three hours at Starbucks booking the route and accommodation to Kota Kinabalu. This uses an enormous amount of energy. You have to plan while traveling at the same time. I realized this really requires a lot of energy. Travel isn't easy. But it's a lot of fun. Isn't this what travel is all about? You often make mistakes if you buy tickets when you're tired, so I wondered about that this time. Being mindful, I compared Route A and Route B and checked the total cost. They differed by only 10,000 yen, so I chose the more comfortable B route. I successfully obtained the ticket.

A small success at the laundry where I summoned courage

After that I returned to the hostel, gathered my laundry, and headed to the laundry. When I arrived and exchanged money... I realized they didn't sell detergent. Yeah, there was no detergent. I saw a pair of kids at a nearby machine putting in detergent and fabric softener.

I mustered up the courage and asked, 'Do you know where I can buy detergent?' They told me, 'It's free detergent so you don't need it.' When I asked, 'Then why are you using it?' they said, 'Depends on you.' So I said, 'If it's okay, could you lend me some detergent?' They willingly put in detergent for me. I was truly grateful.

I spent about an hour there reading a book and putting together things to post on Instagram. The drying finished and when I was leaving, the two were waiting, so I said, 'Again, thank you so much for giving me detergent,' and expressed my gratitude. They responded like, 'No problem.'

I spoke to them with courage, and they lent me detergent. I thought this was another good experience. They didn't refuse. I think this is a small success.

I was happy. Even at the end I found myself thinking, 'Oh, they're there. How should I say thank you?' That's not good. You don't need to think. There are two people—just say thank you. That's all. Then it becomes natural.' I told myself that and thanked them. Good. I kept my promise to myself.

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Kota Ishihara

Graduate of the Department of Life Science at Kinki University. After graduation, studied web production independently and became a freelancer in Oct 2022. Since then, has been traveling across Europe and Southeast Asia, meeting people and exploring cultures. Dreams of moving to Europe, building a creative multinational company, and traveling the world as a pilot. Can’t live without music and fashion. Tough critic of earphones. Respects Taro Okamoto.

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