The 4 a.m. alarm vibrated on my wrist. When I noticed, it was 4:05. I had stopped it unconsciously. Even so, I was awake.
'I have to wake up at 4' must have remained even in my sleep. The subconscious is really powerful. Constantly imagining in your head how you want to be makes it come true.
Early morning flight, from Ankara to Antalya
I hurried through a shower and finished packing. I briskly walked to the bus stop. I wanted to arrive 15 minutes early, but when I noticed it was exactly 15 minutes before departure. The airport bus had already arrived, and I got on the front seat.
Departure at 5. I was surprised there were more people than I imagined. Outside the window, the sky was orange before sunrise. Not a single cloud. On the straight bus to the airport, I felt the day beginning.
This flight was close to the cheapest on the market, I think. From Ankara to Antalya took 1 hour 10 minutes, including checked luggage, ¥5,400. Too cheap.
After 1 hour 10 minutes, I arrived in Antalya. From inland Turkey to the coast. At that moment my heart danced. The feeling of traveling the world came back to me after a long time.
It was 20°C at the airport. Everyone wore short sleeves. I took off my coat. Everyone was chill, relaxed. The atmosphere was completely different from Ankara. I thought it was nice.
I took the tram from the airport to the city center. Checked into the hostel. The moment I entered, it had a very social atmosphere. I felt a little nervous. The moment I felt 'the friends I’m looking for are here,' a fear of being judged welled up. I found myself slipping into a mode of trying to look good rather than being myself. I thought that was a weak side of me.
Check-in was from 2 p.m., so I left my luggage and headed to Starbucks.
Four hours of journaling at Starbucks
I furiously wrote the backlog of entries in my journal. I think I stayed about four hours.
During that time, many people came and went.
People in Antalya are noticeably more fashion-conscious than in Ankara or Istanbul. Especially the women. Many wear jeans that show their figure, like models. I think it’s because the sea is nearby. Being aware of being seen, they naturally refine their physique and appearance. I got the impression they truly have a sense of self.
Suddenly I noticed a desire to connect with someone. Every time I saw a cute girl, I thought 'that’s nice.' Seeing friends laughing and having fun made me think 'that’s nice.' It felt less like loneliness and more like wanting to laugh with someone.
Before checking into the hostel, I had lunch at McDonald's.
Meeting a Russian, Denis
Back at the hostel, after checking in I fixed my hair and reapplied cream. I also reapplied sunscreen. I was surprisingly conscious of my looks. Being near the sea really changes you.
Pulling myself together, I spoke to the man sitting next to me. 'Where are you from?' He replied 'Russia,' so I introduced myself in Russian.
His name was Denis. He’s a psychologist from Samara, Russia. He specializes in therapies that work on hypnosis and the subconscious, and he was backpacking around the Antalya area for two weeks. He’d crossed many mountains, walking and camping along the way. His luggage was 12 kg, and he said all his camping gear fit into it.
Just listening was stimulating.
He said he attracts followers on Instagram and YouTube, and at first he was afraid to post but now he isn’t at all. He said today was his last day in central Antalya. We were able to communicate in Russian. Just that made me very proud.
Dinner at a lokanta with a cat
I took a nap and it was 8 p.m. I went to a nearby lokanta and ordered rice, meatballs, and something like pelmeni.
I thought it was a bit expensive. The taste was average, or rather disappointing. But a cat sat next to me.
Thanks to the cat, the disappointment of the dinner was offset.
Russian conversations that continued until midnight
When I returned to the hostel, Denis was there. From there we talked until midnight.
The suffocating feeling of Japan. Russia’s problems. The difficulties of living in each other's countries. When I said, 'Japan has the best scenery, nature, and food, but the people...' he nodded. We talked about there being too many invisible pressures and rules.
'Russians don't smile even when they say 'Nice to meet you.' They're honest with their emotions.' I prefer that to a European-style fake smile. I think Russians are genuine.
We also talked about psychology books. When I said that reading a book on the subconscious had been good for me, Denis already knew it. I learned the Russian adjectives 'scary (страшный)' and 'deep (глубокий)' in conversation. Language is acquired by speaking with people.
If I couldn't speak Russian, this evening's encounter wouldn't have happened. Thinking that, I felt like thanking my past self who had studied Russian.
I had Denis, who said he was flying back to Russia on an early flight, write a message in my notebook. We also exchanged Instagram. We shook hands, hugged, and went to sleep.
Bb's way of life
That day I was also in contact with Bb, whom I met on Bumble. She is a Turkish woman living in Eskişehir and told me many real stories about Turkey.
Turkey is predominantly Muslim, but among the younger generation the number of religious people has decreased, and one-night stands and FWB have become common, apparently. She herself had had a boyfriend, but she was shocked when his mother refused to allow the marriage, saying 'she's too independent and might dump my son someday.'
As a result of worrying a lot about that, she turned to spirituality. She says she will renounce the world and become a Buddha in the future. Now, while learning about that, she apparently earns money by dancing as a Bohemian dancer until 2 a.m.
I thought, such a life exists too. Hearing Denis's story at night and Bb's afterwards, listening to many people and many lives, I felt my heart become increasingly colorful.
First day in Antalya. If you change locations seeking encounters, meetings really happen. That alone made it a satisfying day.
