Damp air and waking at 5 AM
At 5 AM, I woke up before the alarm went off.
I didn't feel great. Maybe I had a dream. A strange one. I can't remember it, but all that remained was a gritty sensation deep in my chest.
The bed and pillow were soaked with humidity and felt clammy and cold. It was as if even the air were whispering to me, 'Today is different.' Discomfort clung to my body and mind and wouldn't let go.
Two hours later, I woke up again.
I had the feeling someone was outside. The hostel beds are curtained off so you can't see out. But there was definitely a presence. It made me uneasy and want to open the curtain.
Then something whispered deep in my chest: 'The reason you don't feel well isn't because of the outside—it's because something inside you is damp.'
8 AM: a miraculous early wake-up
In the end, I crawled out of bed at 8 AM.
For me, this was like an event. How many months has it been since I woke up at 8 AM?
With bed hair, unshaven, I just brushed my teeth and laughed, 'Oh well.' I forgave myself for not being perfect. Mornings like that are fine too.
On the way to the hostel breakfast, I suddenly wondered, 'What is my social avatar?'
A question that had lingered in the back of my mind since I started traveling.
What I want to put out into the world is probably a 'self-actualizing character.'
It was all mistakes at first, but a story of changing as I interacted with others.
From the days when my voice was quiet and I didn't know what to say, I've gradually changed. The journey is loosening me up. My relationships with people are helping me grow.
A gentle breakfast in a shabby hostel
This hostel once had a breakfast buffet and even live music with guitars ringing out.
But now there's no trace of that. It's run-down, the breakfast is simple, and it's kind of sad.
Still, the people were warm.
The uncle brought scrambled eggs and bacon, bread and butter, and a banana. It felt somehow like a childhood breakfast—endearing.
Because it was raining, available seats were limited. I sat right by the entrance.
'What should I do today?' 'How was work again?'
As I was thinking that, a woman sat down next to me.
A chance encounter
This is a chance.
I called out, 'Hi, good morning!'
Where are you from?
For me, that cleared 'stage 2.'
An hour-long conversation started from there.
Even when the conversation lapsed, I sipped water and adjusted the mood so the silence wouldn't be awkward.
We don't have to force a connection. Just talk when you want to. If there are no topics, that's fine too. Being able to think that way is a major growth.
She was from the Netherlands, worked at Uniqlo, and said she liked working in the fitting rooms best.
Because time passes quickly.
Those casual conversations felt strangely precious.
And then talk about Italy.
'Cappuccino is only until noon, right?'
'You don't put pineapple on pizza, right?'
Silly but fun. Conversations like that are perfect for chance encounters while traveling.
At the end, I brought out a notebook and had her write a short message. We exchanged Instagrams. I even got her name.
Something I couldn't do until now. Today I could. A small step, but a sure one.
Rain, silence, and myself
I returned to my room to work. It was raining outside. For some reason, I felt calm.
Maybe it's because everyone couldn't go to the beach and had taken refuge in the hotel.
Seeing others who look like they're having fun makes me envious.
But today I didn't feel that way. Strangely, I felt calm.
I went out and walked down El Nido's main street.
Whole roasted chicken, a lively bakery, 10-peso bread.
I walked along the beach nibbling on the bread. It was delicious.
Because it's not fun without someone else, I decided not to go island-hopping today.
That's fine. Don't seek perfection.
Discovering new flavors.
At a restaurant I went into to wait out the rain, I ordered seafood I would normally never order.
I don't really like squid, shellfish, or crab. But today I deliberately tried.
One of the shellfish was insanely juicy and absolutely delicious.
I yelled 'Delicious!' in my head.
Encountering new flavors is one of the great joys of travel.
On the way home and the afterglow of a smile
On the way back in a tricycle, I stopped at a nearby shop to buy three bottles of water.
A little girl there asked me, 'Are you Chinese?'
Sadly, I smiled and answered, 'I'm from Japan.'
In the end, I think.
The people of the Philippines are really friendly.
Especially people in the countryside meet your eyes when they talk, their smiles are natural, and they're kind.
Seeing them, I wanted to be like that too.
