Environment changes everything — a lesson from Bali
When I was in Canggu, I would walk toward the sea smiling even when I had nothing. Since I came to Kuta, I haven't smiled at all.
I wake up, take a shower, and think, 'What should I do today?' A life with almost no schedule to chase me. But when there's too little to chase you, you end up with too much free time, little stimulation, and I feel like something shrinks inside me.
I decided to go to YOSHINOYA today. I never imagined there would be a Yoshinoya in Bali.
I ordered an L-size YAKINIKU with tartar sauce topping. For dessert I ordered an Indonesian local dessert. I waited about 20 minutes and ate at a seat on the second floor.
The city of Kuta visible from the second-floor window.
I want to blend myself more into European culture and atmosphere. I want to live more freely and casually.
Then the man who had spoken to me in front of the FamilyMart last night was at YOSHINOYA. He came up and said, 'Oh, you're the kid from yesterday! How are you?'
The man was someone who hangs around Japanese restaurants and approaches people to rent cars at high prices. You can tell right away.
But I completely ignored him, as if I were a foreigner. He looked puzzled and stopped talking.
The effect of 'ignoring' was huge. But on the receiving end it becomes a 'huge trauma.' So I felt bad and disliked myself for doing it. At the same time, I began to hate Kuta.
After leaving YOSHINOYA, I walked along the coast relentlessly, listening to the French song 'Les lacs du Connemara' in my earphones.
It was unbearably hot and my sweat wouldn't stop. Still, I kept walking toward a particular cafe.
The waves were dull compared to Canggu. Even with earphones on, I got a lot of offers to surf. I ignored them.
After walking for about 40 minutes, I arrived at the cafe. When I opened the door, it was a hair salon.
What the heck.
Reluctantly I ordered a cappuccino, but they brought a hot one. I made sure to say I ordered iced, and got an iced cappuccino.
Somehow it was an unlucky day. But I told myself, 'There are days like this.' Life isn't always happy.
After leaving the cafe, I just kept walking.
As I walked, I felt something.
I realized once again that the effect of the 'environment' is enormous.
I was smiling in Canggu, but in Kuta I was full of complaints. I hate this version of myself.
The lesson to learn from this: 'Be meticulous and make the environment your top priority.'
Because you pay attention to the environment, people similar to that environment gather, and by interacting with those people your character changes as well. Everything is the environment. More important than what profession you choose is where you place yourself.
I arrived at another cafe. I ordered a smoothie and wrote in my journal.
I decided to walk along the seashore back to the hostel, listening to Charles Aznavour and Coldplay.
It was just about sunset. I walked against the setting sun.
When I looked back, I could vaguely see the sunset and dark clouds. The red parts looked like a huge energy inside me, and the dark clouds seemed to be obstructing that energy.
I kept thinking alone. Parts that I hadn't seen until now kept emerging from within me. There was nothing shining — almost everything was a very deep, dark part.
But by putting the old things out, I keep renewing myself from the inside. It's painful. Yet it's proof that I can think for myself. So I acknowledge myself.
Along the way, fireworks went off nearby. It might have been my first time seeing fireworks so close.
I took a shower at the hostel and went out to grab something to eat at the McDonald's outside.
Sure enough, the man who had been at Yoshinoya earlier was outside again. He tried to sell me drugs. Of course I ignored him and said I didn't want any.
But even after I left, he shouted loudly. It was really scary.
For the first time, I might have understood the fear many women feel daily. I was only shouted at, but just that was so frightening. Thinking that many women face even worse things along that line was terrifying to the point of feeling drained. Just imagining such things is horrifying. I experienced firsthand what my friend Cici said: 'Women feel that kind of fear everywhere they go.'
Both KFC and McDonald's were packed, so I gave up on dinner. I decided to eat peanuts at the hostel.
Taking a detour along the beach, I saw that man again. He pesteringly asked, 'You don't want drugs, where are you going?'
Ignoring him earlier that day was the right call. My intuition was right.
As I wrote in my journal on the hostel's first floor, I could hear the man's shouting. Nearby, a French person was smoking and the smoke hit me directly.
I want to get out of Kuta quickly.
I suddenly thought.
I really liked the vibe of my Norwegian friends and the French woman Lena from the hostel in Canggu.
What they had in common was introversion. They were very interested in themselves, open-hearted, generous, and without prejudice. They felt very peaceful.
I want to nurture my life in an environment surrounded by people like them.
That was a major discovery about myself.
